hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
