I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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