Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize