if only i could text you this smell
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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