just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
