How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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