I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
