another moral hangover. fuck.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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