Where is the hickey?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
