if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
