i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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