this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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