So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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