Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
