My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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