The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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