Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
