He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
