I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
