Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
