I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
how drunk are you?
Several
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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