Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
And then he peed in my hair
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