I cannot find my penis.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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