Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
