I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
