I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
