Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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