Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
