Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
