No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel