i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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