Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I believe in your delicious
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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