Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
