So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
