i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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