im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
