I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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