So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
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Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
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Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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