haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
whose parrot is this?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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