I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
