I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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