So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
