On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
