Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you didnt know i had herpes?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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