i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
my shit smells like andre
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You are the jesus of drinking
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
