Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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