i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
