Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
