I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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