Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
