Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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