do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
