Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize