nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We left the knife in your bed.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
